It's like the Chatterbox Cafe.
We meet up here to encourage and support each other. We meet here to share ideas and to commisserate. We meet up here to brag about our kids and face the passages of life. We share pictures, quips, provocations and wisdom. We vent, rant, speak up and speak out. We generally know we are preaching to the crowd when we post our political comments. I know I do. And I don't write about things to disrespect others but to encourage kindred spirits and to express myself.
I draw the line at looney tunes. Or, as Annika calls it, loon birds on pills.
I love my Republican family. I don't agree with them but we have indeed agreed to disagree. I engage from time to time but often just let their comments go. I can't argue with everything. And I don't want to. I want to learn and I do try to understand what my family and friends have to say when their views differ from mine.
But hate and threatening language is beyond the pale. I unfriended a few folk today because they had lost touch with the reality that most of us on earth seem to appreciate. Even their own conservative friends urged them to reign it in.
I wrote a FB post earlier today about my decision to block folk. It wasn't the mainstream of the family and friends who are my GOP pals I blocked, or would. We are friends, in spite of our differences. And frankly, I want to know and understand what is so upsetting to the GOP about my views and those of the Democratic stream.
I'll continue to post my views and will welcome rational dialogue -- as my earlier post -- put it. But stuff so loony I don't want to pollute your tender brains with it, well, that is beyond my tolerance level. And it isn't healthy for children and other living things.
I hope we can learn to know and understand and respect one another better. Wouldn't that be a good use for facebook?
Meanwhile, I'll be at the usual table in the Chatterbox Cafe. See you there, friend.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Obama is coming to Denver Sunday to comfort victims of shooting
I'm glad President Obama is coming to Denver / Aurora today, Sunday, to comfort the victims of the theatre shooting. It is appropriate for the Comforter in Chief (well, that would be God but in temporal terms, it is the President) to be on site with those who suffer, to share in their pain and to offer, in the name of all of us, a word and a gesture of empathy. He belongs with us.
This has been a sickening, horrible two days. And this is before we really get to see the faces and learn the stories of all the lives cut short. Hearing, seeing just a few is heartbreaking. Hearing the others will be more than we can take in.
It will be good to have our President come to share our sorrow and pain. The Governor and other officials have also been wonderful about this. And together, we will find ways to move forward. But we'll always be missing someone. Those twelve who died were our neighbors, if not our own friends and families. The world will be poorer for their loss.
And that leads me to think of all the Americans who are gunned down in senseless tragedies, one or two at a time. They are lost to us too.
If the statistic I saw today is correct, Obama could make a visit to Chicago every single Sunday to visit with the families and victims of the same number of persons who died and were injured in gun violence here on Friday night. Twelve people die in Chicago on any typical weekend of gun violence.
That is a lot of Presidential comforting.
I'm not faulting the President for not going to Chicago, or LA,or wherever every time an American dies in gun violence. He would do nothing else. It is that bad. Can you imagine?
On the other hand, perhaps that gesture alone would make a staggering point spectacularly clear. We are out of control.
With all due respect to the Second Amendment, I am done respecting the Second Amendment. We done up and did our big Revolution two-hundred-some years ago. We don't need to fear the British. And we don't, as some paranoids worry, need to fear our own government. They are not that dumb. But we are that dumb. We are being bullied by the gun lobby to allow 12 year olds to walk into an Army-Navy Surplus Store with their dad and buy an AK-47 (saw it happen). Now what on earth is that for? Practice? For Friday night at the movies?
My daughter should not live in fear of random gun violence at a Friday night premier of any movie. And the idjuts who are making a "sassy" clever deal about the Batman connection in this case are missing the whole point. We don't know the shooter's motive and it, frankly, doesn't matter.
What matters is that a disturbed individual can order 600 rounds of ammo and buy four deadly weapons with the same ease that I purchased the gauzy turquoise cardigan on page 63 of the clothes catalog tonight.
I say, repeal the Second Amendment. Find a fair way for hunters to buy their hunting rifles.
Stop making the rest of the junk. Arm the police and train them. And let the rest of us get our rocks off the old fashioned way. Let's wrestle for it.
Call me naive (I am). But from where I sit I'm just done. Done falling over and wringing my hands and saying, oh, we're just doomed. Civilizations have changed before. Human nature has never been improved but its societies have. Let's try something bold.
Otherwise, I vote for Obama to visit every single family and victim of gun violence in America next week. All several hundred of them.
This has been a sickening, horrible two days. And this is before we really get to see the faces and learn the stories of all the lives cut short. Hearing, seeing just a few is heartbreaking. Hearing the others will be more than we can take in.
It will be good to have our President come to share our sorrow and pain. The Governor and other officials have also been wonderful about this. And together, we will find ways to move forward. But we'll always be missing someone. Those twelve who died were our neighbors, if not our own friends and families. The world will be poorer for their loss.
And that leads me to think of all the Americans who are gunned down in senseless tragedies, one or two at a time. They are lost to us too.
If the statistic I saw today is correct, Obama could make a visit to Chicago every single Sunday to visit with the families and victims of the same number of persons who died and were injured in gun violence here on Friday night. Twelve people die in Chicago on any typical weekend of gun violence.
That is a lot of Presidential comforting.
I'm not faulting the President for not going to Chicago, or LA,or wherever every time an American dies in gun violence. He would do nothing else. It is that bad. Can you imagine?
On the other hand, perhaps that gesture alone would make a staggering point spectacularly clear. We are out of control.
With all due respect to the Second Amendment, I am done respecting the Second Amendment. We done up and did our big Revolution two-hundred-some years ago. We don't need to fear the British. And we don't, as some paranoids worry, need to fear our own government. They are not that dumb. But we are that dumb. We are being bullied by the gun lobby to allow 12 year olds to walk into an Army-Navy Surplus Store with their dad and buy an AK-47 (saw it happen). Now what on earth is that for? Practice? For Friday night at the movies?
My daughter should not live in fear of random gun violence at a Friday night premier of any movie. And the idjuts who are making a "sassy" clever deal about the Batman connection in this case are missing the whole point. We don't know the shooter's motive and it, frankly, doesn't matter.
What matters is that a disturbed individual can order 600 rounds of ammo and buy four deadly weapons with the same ease that I purchased the gauzy turquoise cardigan on page 63 of the clothes catalog tonight.
I say, repeal the Second Amendment. Find a fair way for hunters to buy their hunting rifles.
Stop making the rest of the junk. Arm the police and train them. And let the rest of us get our rocks off the old fashioned way. Let's wrestle for it.
Call me naive (I am). But from where I sit I'm just done. Done falling over and wringing my hands and saying, oh, we're just doomed. Civilizations have changed before. Human nature has never been improved but its societies have. Let's try something bold.
Otherwise, I vote for Obama to visit every single family and victim of gun violence in America next week. All several hundred of them.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Let the record show: a history of Clergy Sexual Abuse at Holy Trinity
The reception is going to be modest. In a conference room. Apparently, not a large crowd is expected. I've RSPV'd for four Erickson-Pearson's. We want to tell the bishop "God Speed" -- as in speed you away from us!
For the record and before Bishop Allan "Paterno" Bjornberg leaves office. let it show that he and his staff did everything but tie me to a pole and light it on fire to keep me from venturing anywhere near the sad subject of clergy sexual abuse at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Littleton. My intentions were tender but mis-communicated and he whipped the congregation into a frenzy of anxiety. One of his assistants recently expressed her regret that I am still angry?
After a day again like today, filled with nightmares, intrusive thoughts and terrifying memories. Madelyn, anger doesn't even begin to cover it. In fact, it isn't anger. It is trauma.
Interestingly, over the past ten years I've heard from a score of experts, including the work of an MIT organizational expert, about how organizations will do every single thing in their power to avoid humiliation and embarrassment, ANYTHING, EVERYTHING. That is a lot of things.
My mind can comprehend the failure of nerve, the lack of conscience but the MIT guy was not writing about churches so much as about business and politics. Call me naive but I did not expect such behavior in the church. Yes, call me naive. Me: very naive.
I know I will never hear a word of apology, not an offer of responsibility, of accountabiity. That is how power works.It closes in on itself. So let me just say thing again, for the record, Holy Trinity is Penn State and Bishop Bjornberg is Joe Paterno -- he and legions of others who have done all in the power -- which is a lot, it turns out -- to cover-up the abuse and turn any whistle-blowers into scapegoats.
It is not a career path I expected. Not something I planned for my resume. But here we are.
And you, victims of abuse, don't ever bother hoping the institution will come to its senses and repent. Church or no church, repentance is not part of their picture -- at least in this synod. You can expect nothing.
Instead, get a really really good therapist. You might think I am writing this in a pique of anger but actually I am writing out of a sense of hope, and power. You will find ways to heal. You will move forward. But not if you count on the church to help. Your therapist can help you frame the situation as abuse. And help you to understand what can and cannot be counted upon by abusers -- and those who cover up for them. Get help because you can get better!
I'm far more than angry. I am hopeful. I am in treatment twice a week and three times one week of the month. I am on more medication than you can imagine. And I do EMDR and, you know what, it all helps.
What the church won't offer, the healing arts can and will and do. My prayer for you is to find the very best therapist you can and work to undo the abusive syndrome that now floods your spirit. It is slow. But it can be done. I believe you will be better.
Just because the church will always be screwed, you don't have to be. Peace be with you and keep in touch. The journey is home.
For the record and before Bishop Allan "Paterno" Bjornberg leaves office. let it show that he and his staff did everything but tie me to a pole and light it on fire to keep me from venturing anywhere near the sad subject of clergy sexual abuse at Holy Trinity Lutheran Church in Littleton. My intentions were tender but mis-communicated and he whipped the congregation into a frenzy of anxiety. One of his assistants recently expressed her regret that I am still angry?
After a day again like today, filled with nightmares, intrusive thoughts and terrifying memories. Madelyn, anger doesn't even begin to cover it. In fact, it isn't anger. It is trauma.
Interestingly, over the past ten years I've heard from a score of experts, including the work of an MIT organizational expert, about how organizations will do every single thing in their power to avoid humiliation and embarrassment, ANYTHING, EVERYTHING. That is a lot of things.
My mind can comprehend the failure of nerve, the lack of conscience but the MIT guy was not writing about churches so much as about business and politics. Call me naive but I did not expect such behavior in the church. Yes, call me naive. Me: very naive.
I know I will never hear a word of apology, not an offer of responsibility, of accountabiity. That is how power works.It closes in on itself. So let me just say thing again, for the record, Holy Trinity is Penn State and Bishop Bjornberg is Joe Paterno -- he and legions of others who have done all in the power -- which is a lot, it turns out -- to cover-up the abuse and turn any whistle-blowers into scapegoats.
It is not a career path I expected. Not something I planned for my resume. But here we are.
And you, victims of abuse, don't ever bother hoping the institution will come to its senses and repent. Church or no church, repentance is not part of their picture -- at least in this synod. You can expect nothing.
Instead, get a really really good therapist. You might think I am writing this in a pique of anger but actually I am writing out of a sense of hope, and power. You will find ways to heal. You will move forward. But not if you count on the church to help. Your therapist can help you frame the situation as abuse. And help you to understand what can and cannot be counted upon by abusers -- and those who cover up for them. Get help because you can get better!
I'm far more than angry. I am hopeful. I am in treatment twice a week and three times one week of the month. I am on more medication than you can imagine. And I do EMDR and, you know what, it all helps.
What the church won't offer, the healing arts can and will and do. My prayer for you is to find the very best therapist you can and work to undo the abusive syndrome that now floods your spirit. It is slow. But it can be done. I believe you will be better.
Just because the church will always be screwed, you don't have to be. Peace be with you and keep in touch. The journey is home.
Thursday, July 12, 2012
People in the church love me
Oh yeah!
Would you believe they run when they see me coming?
Not all. Not all by any means. I have found myself a tiny little sense of community within church and they seem to like me okay. Of course, I'm pretty quiet there. I need it to be safe.
Speaking truth to power is not a popular item on most people's agenda, whether you are the one called to speak or to listen. It is a conversation that goes unspoken and unheard. Hence, the findings of the Sanduskey/Penn State investigation.
I get tired of being ignored. I get tired of being shunned. I get tired of feeling I live in exile, even in my own larger(ELCA)community of faith. But that is the way it is. Because some things must be said.
Would you believe they run when they see me coming?
Not all. Not all by any means. I have found myself a tiny little sense of community within church and they seem to like me okay. Of course, I'm pretty quiet there. I need it to be safe.
Speaking truth to power is not a popular item on most people's agenda, whether you are the one called to speak or to listen. It is a conversation that goes unspoken and unheard. Hence, the findings of the Sanduskey/Penn State investigation.
I get tired of being ignored. I get tired of being shunned. I get tired of feeling I live in exile, even in my own larger(ELCA)community of faith. But that is the way it is. Because some things must be said.
Red flags
More red flags than you could count.
So says the findings of the investigation into the sexual abuse cover up at Penn State.
I've not written much about this case because it feels like shooting ducks in a bucket. There is so much wrong with Jerry Sanduskey and his higher-ups / enablers at Penn State.
I just want to say this. The very same thing still happens in the church. The Protestant church. The process of moving and enabling abusive clergy continues. I hate to say it but if you are part of a church you should just assume that your pastor is a potential perpetrator and that if he is, or she is, no one in power has done anything to stop it.
Now, really, most pastors, the overwhelming majority are not perpetrators. But you are not going to know that. Because no one in authority is going to tell you. No one is going to intervene in the system to get the perps out of it. I hate to say this but the intelligence I pick up 'from the street' indicates this is true. Bishops are too busy circling the wagons -- in a different configuration, to be sure -- and trying to be relevant and to grow the church to pay any attention to the warning signals or signs or even, in some cases, outright allegations.
Okay, not no one. I believe in the commitments of some of the leaders in the church to stop abuse and to stop abusers. They do yeoman's work to respond with care to victims and to put the perps out of business. But they are not the majority of leaders out there. We have regressed.
So, watch for red flags. This could be a commercial for reading "Safe Connections" -- still available as a PDF download from the www.elca.org website. There are always red flags. Throw them. Pay attention. And even if it isn't you getting caught up in abusive behavior, think of the vulnerable young single women in your congregation. The single mother or father. Throw the red flag for their sake and don't stop until someone pays attention to you.
The saddest thing from this Penn State report was the comment about how much abuse could have been prevented "if only" authorities had acted sooner. Think of all the children who have to live with hellacious memories and intrusive thoughts -- signs of trauma -- for the rest of their lives.
Throw the red flag. Now.
So says the findings of the investigation into the sexual abuse cover up at Penn State.
I've not written much about this case because it feels like shooting ducks in a bucket. There is so much wrong with Jerry Sanduskey and his higher-ups / enablers at Penn State.
I just want to say this. The very same thing still happens in the church. The Protestant church. The process of moving and enabling abusive clergy continues. I hate to say it but if you are part of a church you should just assume that your pastor is a potential perpetrator and that if he is, or she is, no one in power has done anything to stop it.
Now, really, most pastors, the overwhelming majority are not perpetrators. But you are not going to know that. Because no one in authority is going to tell you. No one is going to intervene in the system to get the perps out of it. I hate to say this but the intelligence I pick up 'from the street' indicates this is true. Bishops are too busy circling the wagons -- in a different configuration, to be sure -- and trying to be relevant and to grow the church to pay any attention to the warning signals or signs or even, in some cases, outright allegations.
Okay, not no one. I believe in the commitments of some of the leaders in the church to stop abuse and to stop abusers. They do yeoman's work to respond with care to victims and to put the perps out of business. But they are not the majority of leaders out there. We have regressed.
So, watch for red flags. This could be a commercial for reading "Safe Connections" -- still available as a PDF download from the www.elca.org website. There are always red flags. Throw them. Pay attention. And even if it isn't you getting caught up in abusive behavior, think of the vulnerable young single women in your congregation. The single mother or father. Throw the red flag for their sake and don't stop until someone pays attention to you.
The saddest thing from this Penn State report was the comment about how much abuse could have been prevented "if only" authorities had acted sooner. Think of all the children who have to live with hellacious memories and intrusive thoughts -- signs of trauma -- for the rest of their lives.
Throw the red flag. Now.
Monday, July 9, 2012
The gift that goes on giving
"Tell me when it comes to a nuclear apocalypse."
That is the threshold we agreed on. When the Fast and Furious scandal reaches the point of impending nuclear catastrophe, I want to know. Otherwise, Dave has agreed to pay attention to it for me and I don't have to know one blessed thing.
We are big fans of the writer, Calvin Trillin. Trillin and his wonderful, late wife Alice had their own special tradition which we have copied.
It is impossible for any one of us to keep track of everything in the news. So the Trillins gave one another gifts. She would follow (this was many long years ago) the developments of the war going on then in Cyprus so that he would not have to. She gave this to Calvin as a gift. He could skip right over those news headlines and TV reports and pay them no heed whatsoever. It left his mind free to worry and wonder about Northern Ireland and the state of the downstairs neighbors. It was an excellent arrangement. Of course, he returned the favor and set her free from a topic of her choice.
Dave has done this for me, and I for him, over the years about a variety of topics. For example, I don't think he's worried about Tadijkistan for years. And I don't fret about dead-heading the salvia. But this is a bigger gift: Fast and Furious.
The moment I heard word one about the subject I thought, I don't care. And sure enough, Dave offered to care about it for the both of us. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Through days and weeks of headlines and broadcasts, I don't have the slightest idea of what it is all about. I don't have to. Dave is paying attention enough for the both of us.
As with the Trillins, we get to set a threshold for when to intervene and say, "Time you knew about this!!!" I could have set a lower threshold, like the whole business with the Attorney General being censured by Congress but I really didn't want to know about that. So I've said, nuclear war. When the salvia, or Fast and Furious lead to an impending war, I want to know. Until then, spare me.
I need to get Dave another gift, though. Any ideas? I'm thinking perhaps the lawn art.
That is the threshold we agreed on. When the Fast and Furious scandal reaches the point of impending nuclear catastrophe, I want to know. Otherwise, Dave has agreed to pay attention to it for me and I don't have to know one blessed thing.
We are big fans of the writer, Calvin Trillin. Trillin and his wonderful, late wife Alice had their own special tradition which we have copied.
It is impossible for any one of us to keep track of everything in the news. So the Trillins gave one another gifts. She would follow (this was many long years ago) the developments of the war going on then in Cyprus so that he would not have to. She gave this to Calvin as a gift. He could skip right over those news headlines and TV reports and pay them no heed whatsoever. It left his mind free to worry and wonder about Northern Ireland and the state of the downstairs neighbors. It was an excellent arrangement. Of course, he returned the favor and set her free from a topic of her choice.
Dave has done this for me, and I for him, over the years about a variety of topics. For example, I don't think he's worried about Tadijkistan for years. And I don't fret about dead-heading the salvia. But this is a bigger gift: Fast and Furious.
The moment I heard word one about the subject I thought, I don't care. And sure enough, Dave offered to care about it for the both of us. It is the gift that keeps on giving. Through days and weeks of headlines and broadcasts, I don't have the slightest idea of what it is all about. I don't have to. Dave is paying attention enough for the both of us.
As with the Trillins, we get to set a threshold for when to intervene and say, "Time you knew about this!!!" I could have set a lower threshold, like the whole business with the Attorney General being censured by Congress but I really didn't want to know about that. So I've said, nuclear war. When the salvia, or Fast and Furious lead to an impending war, I want to know. Until then, spare me.
I need to get Dave another gift, though. Any ideas? I'm thinking perhaps the lawn art.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Poland wins European champion games
Poland wins!
When was the last time you heard those words?
Spoken not with cynicism or cruel resignation to an opposite fate, these words are an apt description of the outcome of Europe's futbol championships. Granted, the Polish soccer team exited in early rounds.
Some two million fans invaded Poland to watch "the beautiful game" and cheer on their teams. A banner sign at the train station invited visitors to "feel like at home." Nobody claimed to hold Poland hostage to an alien political philosophy and, in fact, the Poles ended up feeling rightfully at home in the middle of Europe -- where they belong.
As you know, I don't have a horse in this race. I'm not Polish. I have no Polish relatives to regale me with tales of the golden age of Polish football (soccer) in the 70's, though I do have some friends who try. I'm theoretically neutral.
But it is hard to be neutral about Poland. A partisan by choice, I can only rejoice in this Polish victory. The continent came to Poland and Poland made a good impression and its people feel like they have a rightful place in the midst of things. Politicians solidified their friendships -- can you imagine Angela Merkel and Poland's Donald Tusk cheering together? Fans from Spain and Italy despised one another but loved Poland.
Financially, there are still some bills to be paid. This may not have been marked paid quite yet. But the benefits will continue.
It took a beautiful battlefield, with gorgeous green turf and some defenders keeping the ball out of goal, and some strikers getting it in. But Poland is back in the thick of things and not just for now. There is a renewed spirit of participation and engagement. Poles walk around with their heads just a bit higher and their shoulders straighter. It is the new beginning of a new beginning.
And like we said earlier, how terrific is it that the world came to Poland to fight it out and the trophy was a big shiny silver thing and not the very turf itself.
When was the last time you heard those words?
Spoken not with cynicism or cruel resignation to an opposite fate, these words are an apt description of the outcome of Europe's futbol championships. Granted, the Polish soccer team exited in early rounds.
Some two million fans invaded Poland to watch "the beautiful game" and cheer on their teams. A banner sign at the train station invited visitors to "feel like at home." Nobody claimed to hold Poland hostage to an alien political philosophy and, in fact, the Poles ended up feeling rightfully at home in the middle of Europe -- where they belong.
As you know, I don't have a horse in this race. I'm not Polish. I have no Polish relatives to regale me with tales of the golden age of Polish football (soccer) in the 70's, though I do have some friends who try. I'm theoretically neutral.
But it is hard to be neutral about Poland. A partisan by choice, I can only rejoice in this Polish victory. The continent came to Poland and Poland made a good impression and its people feel like they have a rightful place in the midst of things. Politicians solidified their friendships -- can you imagine Angela Merkel and Poland's Donald Tusk cheering together? Fans from Spain and Italy despised one another but loved Poland.
Financially, there are still some bills to be paid. This may not have been marked paid quite yet. But the benefits will continue.
It took a beautiful battlefield, with gorgeous green turf and some defenders keeping the ball out of goal, and some strikers getting it in. But Poland is back in the thick of things and not just for now. There is a renewed spirit of participation and engagement. Poles walk around with their heads just a bit higher and their shoulders straighter. It is the new beginning of a new beginning.
And like we said earlier, how terrific is it that the world came to Poland to fight it out and the trophy was a big shiny silver thing and not the very turf itself.
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