I am not much of a drinker.
On our recent trip to Cabo San Lucas I became famous as the Virgin Woman. I drank, maybe, twelve, fifteen virgin daquiri's a day. Every now and then I'd have the rum but you get the picture. Not a big drinker.
Which worries me.
This is my second "chick cocktail" here at the Red Rocks Bar, the second in, oh, about twenty minutes. I did ask her to put less rum in this second one. Drinking is supposed to be good for writers. Or at least good for writing. I've never tried it. But this is tonight and I need a drink. Or two.
Less than twenty-four hours ago I thought I was saying goodbye and leaving my daughter in Minneapolis to come home >> tomorrow night. Then I looked at my calendar. Shit! I was leaving today. You have no idea how much of a mess that made of me, to lose a day with Kaia. We had no plans for today but we have a good time hanging out. Maybe we would have gone to pick up her bike. I would have watched her play soccer with her buds --- the pick-up international team at Macalester to which she is an honorable, if unusual, member. Blonde. American. And female. But she does great and it would have been such fun to watch.
Alas, I looked at my damn calendar. Send Dave a text message, "Am I coming home tomorrow???" "Yes, at 7:20." I found the Frontier confirmation email and sure enough. way more than the twenty-four hours felt taken. When you're with your kid you just never know what great wisdom, what wonderful insight, what hilarious tidbit you're going to get. But I sobbed for a half hour, I think she cried a little too, and we made the most of today.
Cuz that's all we ever get. For sure. And it is not the big fireworks moments necessarily that are the best --- although Rachmaninov and the massages and the red toenails were right up there --- but the little ones. The kind words, the small gestures. The living of the days.
I'm in Denver now. Closing down the Red Rocks Bar.
And. Waiting for another surprise. Annika!
How can I lose? Leave one daughter only to find the other one flying in from Phoenix. Not a bad thing.
I just gave the server a 30 percent tip. And it's not the rum talking.
Life is good.
Sometimes very sad. I'll miss my girl like crazy.
But, here, right here, right now, is my girl.
Kaia and Annika, you two are the best.
Let's close this place down.