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Thursday, May 19, 2011

Stories of the spotted brain

Take my word for it. Getting highlights are easier. Brain spots are more useful but a whole lot harder to come by.

I do not in anyway mean to make light of this process. It is life-giving, probably life-saving, and certainly a change-maker. Brain spotting. (See yesterday's blog.) A treatment for PTSD. Nobody knows quite why it works, or how, but it does. It clears out a safe spot in the brain for when the inevitable traumatic memories return.

I have one simple, disturbing and sad word from my work today.

Some violence is so intractible there is virtually no way to get free from it. I will be honest. It isn't good. Trying to visualize a resolution to a violent encounter I let my mind range over a variety of peaceful responses. Tried to be reasonable. Talk facts. Talk sense. Didn't matter. I visualized being in a blue dress and being told it was red. It was very frustrating. Exactly the situation itself back when it happened.

Finally, my therapist suggested I visualize bringing in a friend to help. That didn't sit well with me at first. I'm supposed to do this on my own, right? Back at the time of the actual events, I was terribly awfully alone. My therapist assured me that's one of the good things about life. We get to ask for help. And we can get help. So I called in a friend. Two of them in fact. Visualized them standing on either side of me.

They didn't waste time being nice. They just hauled off and yelled, swore, let their tempers fly and finally, after that had no impact to stop the violence, one of the guys socked her in the face.

That's terrible. To feel like it had to go that far. Violence. For violence. I don't believe in it.

So I'm going to say this was symbolic. The basic, sad, disturbing fact of the matter is sometimes violence has to be stopped. Just stopped. Stopped cold. No reasoning. No nice rationalizing. No explanations, facts are irrevelent. No trying to make sense. Just stop it. Bam. Bam. Not a punch in the face I hope. But something strong and compelling. And then go.

When I hear about pastors being bullied and mistreated, the only advice I can offer is to get the hell out. There is no point trying anything else. If it goes on and on and a critical mass of folk are involved, and you don't have support from the higher-ups, and you won't because they never have the balls to kick butt and take names, you are toast. Sad to say it. But it is true. Just get out. You won't win.

I don't want you to have to sit in a therapists' office in three years and visualize a woman getting knocked in the face in order to exorcise the demons. Just leave her behind and get out now.

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